


Dirt Boy

by YourShadow



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Bad!Fic, Crack, Hange in the background, Kink, Other, Please Don't Take This Seriously, cleaning fetish, erwin realizes that Levi has a problem, fanfiction giveaway winner, prompt, sexual encounters with cleaning supplies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-27
Updated: 2015-02-27
Packaged: 2018-03-15 10:43:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3444200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YourShadow/pseuds/YourShadow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Levi likes to clean and also maybe sorta has sex with his cleaning supplies.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dirt Boy

**Author's Note:**

  * For [PrinceBel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrinceBel/gifts).



> Disclaimer: I do not own Attack on Titan in any way. 
> 
> Warning: Features sexually explicit things with inanimate objects. I don’t get super detailed but it’s implied, so this is your warning. Cleaning fetish/kink.
> 
> This is the main prize from my fanfiction giveaway on tumblr! My wifey watershipping-down won and requested this lovely little bad!fic as her prize. I have to say that this has been inspired by mybrainproblem’s BrushPaste AU, the Scorpion Universe by buttsnax, and askaheichou (aka shikarius) dancing with a broom at Katsucon. Bless all of you.

“Oh yeah, you’re so _filthy_ aren’t you? Such a dirty, _dirty_ thing~” Levi teased, running his fingertip up the spine of his broom. “Let’s do some cleaning, shall we?” he murmured, licking the tip of the broom. Just the tip. The rest was a bit too dirty for his sensitive, delicate tongue.

He pranced around the room, holding the broom close as a lover and caressing it softly. Humming, he began a slow dance around the center of the room: one, two, three, one, two, three, back and forth and side to side.

“Are you ready, my love?” he whispered after their little dance, putting the broom to the floor. “Ohhhhh, you like that, don’t you baby?” he sweet-talked, sweeping the bristles across the wood. The sound of the broom brushing against the flooring and the feeling of it vibrating up his entire being made him shiver. “So _filthy_.” He hissed, sweeping more vigorously.

He went around the entire room, pushing dirt and debris into a condensed pile in the center with the broom’s efforts. “Almost there, babe.” He whispered, whipping the broom into a frenzy with his erratic movements. It quivered in his hands. “Oh no, not until I say so.” He teased again, taking his time now to create a pile of filth.

He reached for the dust pan. “Care to join in the fun? Come on, Mr. Broom wants to fill you all up~” he cooed, setting the pan down on the floor. He thrust the broom into the pan, pushing the dirt into it until it was full. “Ohhhh yeahhhhh.” He breathed.

With Mr. Broom and Mr. Pan all spent, he set them aside to rest. Opening the cabinet, he reached out slowly to caress the bottle of soap he cherished above all other cleaning supplies. “Mmmmmm daddy’s been waiting for you, my dear.” He said huskily, taking it out and pressing the bottle against his face.

“Don’t tell the others, but you’re my favorite.” He whispered. He swore the bottle blushed. His finger swirled around the cap, nail scratching lightly. “Do you want it?” he asked in a low voice. “Beg me for release.” He demanded. The bottle trembled as he continued circling his finger around the cap, teasing it.

Without warning, he used his thumb to pop the cap off, squeezing the bottle tightly so that soap spurted from the top. “Yes!” he cried, squeezing more and lathering it onto his skin and clothes. The soap sizzled, nipping at his skin, running down his arms and stomach. He covered himself in the thick liquid, crying out and moaning. He even ran his fingers through his hair, getting the white substance caked in. The aroma of cleanliness intoxicated him.

He rolled around on the floor, using himself as a mop as he crawled, humped, and dragged himself across the wood. It would shine when he was done with it, and smell like hot, steamy sanitization. He laid on his back, arching up into the air and gasping as he felt the soapy residue slide into every crevice of his body.

Once the floor sparkled, he went for the bucket. “You’re mine, now.” He growled. “I’m going to fill you up.” He caressed the lip, taking it by the handle and yanking it up. “You want it? You ready for what I’m about to give you?”

The bucket was thrust under the faucet, his hand hovering over the nozzle. “I want you to say it. Tell me how much you want to be filled to the brim until you’re nearly overflowing!” The bucket shook, waiting patiently. Levi turned the water on and watched as it poured into the bucket, sloshing around and building up inside. Once it was almost to the top, he turned the faucet off and then held it within his arms.

The soap was drying, tracts of hard lines cracking and itching his body. It was time. He couldn’t wait any longer. He had to have it, now!

He pulled a chair to the center of the room, where he was previously rolling around, and sat down. Taking a deep breath, he brought the bucket over his head, leaned back against the chair, and dumped it on himself. “Ah yes! So good!” he cried out, arching out of the chair. He felt the water mixing with the soap, bubbles popping against his skin.

He was drenched in it now, completely covered. It dripped from his hair, his arms, even between his legs. All around him a puddle formed, and he let himself soak in it, moaning out his own release.

“Levi, what the everloving _fuck_ are you doing in here?” Erwin suddenly interrupted his euphoric haze by opening the door and yelling at him. “I’ve got cadets running into my office saying they can hear you moaning and saw you writhing around on the floor like a goddamn _heathen_!” he hissed.

Levi shrieked, using the bucket to cover his soaked-through body. “I’m cleaning, you disgusting piece of filth! You can’t just barge in on something so private and intimate! What if I walked into your office while you were doing paperwork?” he yelled back, righteously furious.

“You do! All the time! I can never get work done because you insist on cleaning my office ever fucking day!” Erwin yelled back. “That’s it.” He growled, stalking forward and wrestling the bucket from Levi’s hands. “I’m taking your cleaning supplies away. No more cleaning! I forbid it!”

Levi stared up at him in horror, still soaked to the bone and covered in soap. “No.” he whispered, terrified. “NOOOOOOO!!!!” he lunged for the bucket, but Erwin held it up too high for him to reach, so he clung to the Commander instead. “You can’t take away my only solace! You monster!”

Erwin rolled his eyes. “I’m taking you to Hange, you need some therapy.” He said, walking out of the room while Levi still clung to him, sobbing.

***

After the awkward ‘therapy’ with Hange, Levi was sent to his room. Once he was all alone, curled up on his bed and now thoroughly dry, he reached down into his pants and grinned.

“They thought they won, but I still have you, don’t I, my dear~?” he whispered, taking out the feather duster that he kept hidden in his pants the entire day. Every time he moved he felt it tickle his skin, teasing him with feather-soft touches and light-as-air caresses. He pulled his pants down and used the feathery end to tickle his ass, squirming and giggling like a middle school kid with a big time crush.

“Oh you’re so _naughty_ , teasing me all day like that. We’ll never get caught, because they’ll never know I have you.” He moaned breathily as he let it caress his hole. All the tension drained from his body, and he felt himself relax. “That’s it. Do it to me.”

He rubbed the feather duster harder, arching and grinding and rolling his hips into the touch. Gasping, he tried not to cry out at the sensations. He couldn’t let them find out he still had one cleaning supply on hand, or he would be done for. This was his only comfort, his only pleasure, and he wouldn’t let them take it away from him.

Once he was ready, he turned the feather duster around and plunged the tip into his puckered hole. It was too much, too fast, and he screamed.

“For fucks’ sake Levi!” Erwin yelled, bursting into the room and grabbing the feather duster. “YOU HAVE A PROBLEM!” the man roared as his captain trembled, quivering on the bed with sexual euphoria. “Oh that’s just fucking _gross_.” The commander complained as cum dripped down the length of the feather duster and onto his hand. “That’s it, I’m staging an intervention.” He declared, exiting the room as swiftly as he entered.

Levi sobbed into his pillow. “So long my love. I’ll see you in paradise when I leave this foolish world full of foolish people who do not understand my love for cleaning!” he cried dramatically. His hand was outstretched, reaching, longing for the touch of his lovers. He just wanted to feel one bristle of the broom, rub the smooth edges of the bucket, or slather himself in the delicious soap he craved. Why couldn’t they understand that cleanliness was next to godliness? It was perfectly natural to have a fetish for cleaning and cleaning supplies, dammit! Why didn’t they realize that?

Levi didn’t know why they all felt the need to walk around in their filth, only taking a shower once a week and wearing the same clothes every day. It sickened him to be around them, smelling their natural, putrid smells. He didn’t like standing close to people, least of all being _touched_ by them, but they always got too close. It was astounding that Mike, with his excellent sense of smell, didn’t puke from being around them. He thought he had a comrade in the taller man, but when he found out about Levi’s cleaning obsession, he turned his nose up and wanted nothing more to do with him.

“None of you understand the meaning of being clean.” He whispered, curling in on himself. His fingers itched for the feather duster. In the dimness of this cruel world, they were trying to take the only light away from him. The thought made him cry himself to sleep.


End file.
